Today I’m overwhelmed. There are so many big things, good things, moving on things going on right this very instant. The next year is shaping up to be something like sprinting the last bit of a marathon academically and time-wise, and I’m overjoyed and terrified.
My doctor appointment about my hip pain (muscular, need a physical therapist) turned into her obsessing over the stress that’s in my shoulders right now to the point that she gave me a muscle relaxant.
I’m not in this alone–half of my classmates had to take a personal health day this week. I’m hanging on by the skin of my teeth to functioning.
So tonight I’m snuggling with the husband, crying some (it’s my release valve, I swear), watching TV, eating bad-for-me Chinese without a second thought, maybe making cookies, and generally collapsing my world inward because I can’t handle any more.
Husband is taking this as a sign that next year will be too much for me, but I’m just taking it for what it is: anticipation. Of any number of zillion things. Of all of the big adult decisions that we’re making right now, decisions that I’m sure real adults would face with ease and a martini. I’m facing them with shoulder-stress-to-the-point-of-numbness, tears, and food.
Everyone does adult differently, no? Thank goodness I get the luxury of tapping out tonight.
Morgan
/ March 1, 2012I’m beginning to believe that no one, practically ever, really feels like a Real Adult. I include my 61 year old mother in this, and my ex’s 90 year old grandmother.
Oddly, I find this comforting.
Holly (@hollyolyoxnfree)
/ March 1, 2012I feel for you lady. Remember that you’re amazing, take care of you and do what you can do each day. I also hoard my stress into various muscles in my body (mostly this part behind my right shoulder blade and my jaw, fun!) and know that it is pretty horrible. Good job taking a mental health day- they will be available next year too. And you can handle anything, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. <3
tirzahrene
/ March 1, 2012I think it’s a sign that you have excellent coping strategies and will be able to employ them to get through the crazy next year too. Proud of you.
Carrie
/ March 1, 2012I’m with Morgan, I feel like there aren’t too many “real adults” out there. We all get stressed out by whet life throws our way. If someone isn’t stressing about what you find stressful, it just means they are stressing about something else. I think your evening sounds lovely. Just what I’d want to do after a stressful day too.
Shannon (Sitting in a tree.)
/ March 2, 2012I carry my stress in my shoulders and neck too. If it’s really bad, I can’t turn my neck very far. That’s how I do adult, I guess.
Glad you got to relax and tap out. That is definitely needed from time to time.
lyn
/ March 2, 2012Oh my gosh, these moments. Just breaking. I wish you speedy passage through to the other side.
Sarah
/ March 5, 2012You will persevere, and you will get to your next phase even though this part is so painful. It’s what we do. If you have one too many pressures, take stock and see if there is something you can set aside and worry about later, after you’ve accomplished your present goal. I find that being able to focus on completing one thing helps me cope with extreme pressure.